Turkey decoy in custody
A turkey decoy is being held in South Dakota for allegedly performing solo sex acts in a public area. “I think it’s disgusting” claims Engrad Newsquirk, a Missouri woman who came across the jake by himself on public hunting ground in Wisconsin. “He appeared top be intoxicated and I just know he was doing some kind of turkey masturbate thing out there in that field by himself. It did look perfectly natural, but I think it should only be allowed on private hunting grounds”
She is wrong of course, and many people think the jake turkey decoy should be released from the warehouse immediately. The jake turkey decoy was simply sporting a semi strut pose that causes older toms to attack him. “He has been doing this kind of thing for over a year now,” reports the owner of the Purple Door bar ” and is becoming very popular with some of our local male hunters. They take him all over the country where he does his show for big toms of all sub species.”
You can help the turkey decoy
For a mere $89 you can get the jake turkey decoy out of solitary in the warehouse in South Dakota.
“We accept paypal and major credit cards” was the response we got from the office manager at the warehouse. She seemed like a pretty decent person on the phone.
The turkey decoy works in all states
“I am willing to do my little show nationwide, rain or shine,” reported the turkey decoy last week. I was really on a roll last spring. I pissed off more toms than I can count on my 8 toes, and the hens I met. Whoa. That kind of action makes me almost want to work for free. Almost.” It’s refreshing to meet a turkey decoy so willing and eager to perform. What a guy, this turkey decoy dude is turning out to be.